Five years ago, just after 11pm, Nolan Keith Crumrine was born into this world. And from the beginning we knew he would be different from Kevin. He was a very laid back baby, loving his swing and preferring to go to sleep on his own... Yes, different might be mild in contrast to Kevin. Opposite is more like it.

When Nolan was six weeks old he was in the hospital with a severe case of RSV. I think I need to put this in here for myself more than for others. I don't want to forget this time because it means that I won't forget God's leading in our lives when we were so worried for him, or our family and friends who surrounded us when we prayed for him, or how much we cherished each breath he took, every smile he gave... and that he survived.

I don't remember when this was taken. But this is my grandpa (one of them). I love this picture. My grandpa had hands that were well worn by work and living. But they turned soft and loving when he held his grand babies. Nolan was one. ~ This is the only picture I have of them so close together.

Warping what feels like lightyears from then until now...

Nolan is five today. He is beginning to read and write. He loves playing Lego Starwars and digging in the dirt. He is intelligent, loving, imaginative, considerate, introverted and musical. He loves to sing.

There is no one else on earth like my sweet boy. I don't know what the future holds for him but I know it will be blessed by God and we will be blessed to have him in our lives.

I love you Nolan! Happy Birthday, my love!

Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend!

Last weekend we got to go to Portland. And we had a BLAST!

On Friday we tried to go to the zoo but it was so crazy busy that we couldn't find a parking spot... even after 25 minutes of driving around the lot. So we decided to go back on Saturday.

But not before the boys and I went and walked on "Caiti's Crew!" in the Light the Night Walk.

TONS of Caitlin's family were there, as were PUMP Church people and friends of the family. It was a wonderful way to celebrate Caiti and her continually amazing progress in the right direction with the Leukemia she is fighting. It was also a strong reminder that there are people every day who still fight for their lives, and some that loose it to Leukemia or Lymphoma. ~ I will walk for Light the Night every year that I am able. I cannot think of a more worthy cause.

The boys went with me at the last minute. I'm glad they did.

They got to be part of Caiti's Crew which was 65+ people strong. (I would post a picture of Caiti, but I didn't get a good one of her.)

Caitlin is doing well. You can read about her journey by clicking here.

On Saturday afternoon we went to Heritage Farms with the Russells and did a little playing around. A hay maze, a bouncy apple house... thing, a hay ride and a honey crisp apple later we were all exhausted and headed home for dinner and bed time.

But we got some great pictures in the process. Here are a couple.

Saturday morning, though the four of us went back to the Zoo to try to get a parking spot and scored BIG. We had an absolute BLAST! We had a great time together, got to see the new Predators of the Serengeti exhibit which was WONDERFUL and generally had a REALLY great experience. Even ZaZa got to go and posed for a picture with one of the lion statues.

Then on Sunday Logan led worship at PUMP which was also a great experience so we basically had a GREAT weekend on all counts.

Russells, thanks again for opening your home to us.

Gettin' In Gear

Well, I start a new job next Wednesday. I'll be working for First Gear Academy which is a day care under the Knowledge Learning Corporation. It's pretty much the ideal job to be going back into day care for (and since day care wasn't my first choice you can imagine that it would have to be a pretty sweet deal). Not only is the center brand new and state of the art, but I am being offered fantastic pay and benefits.

There's gotta be a catch, right?

Right.

It's not enough for our whole family to move to Portland on. So I'm going down ahead of the family and beginning work while they stay here. Kevin is established in school and Nolan will enjoy time with Logan. Logan will continue to look for work in the Portland metro area and we will work on getting the boys down to PDX as soon as possible. ~ It sucks. But it's the best of two difficult options at this point.

So we are investing in a web cam and plan to have our family time over the world wide web. I plan to read books to the boys over the web cam, we'll still do our Bible and prayer time over the net, and basically be able to check in with each other and even maybe hang out a little... sort of... We are basically trying to make the best of it... and if it becomes unbearable or is simply not working, we will re-evaluate it.

So all of that being said, I can say that I am pretty excited about simply having a job.

One question I get a lot is, "Where will you live?" Answer: Tim and Cheryl Russell have graciously offered me a place to lay my head and feel at home. I will take them up on it and be staying with them for a time. "Thank you" really doesn't express my gratitude, but it will have to do for now.

The other question I get a lot is, "What will you do if Logan gets a job somewhere else?" Answer: I go where he goes. If he gets a job in some other town I will go too. It's that easy. But we are hoping that he is able to find something in the Portland area (Vancouver, Gresham, Beaverton, Oregon City are all acceptable places as well).

Friends and family, many of you have prayed for us for a VERY long time. Thank you for that. Please, we still covet your prayers for us. Please pray for Logan to find a job, for Kevin to continue to do well in school and for Nolan to continue to thrive.

Peace to your house.

Grated

Well, I have done it again. I've managed to turn a relatively harmless kitchen utensil into a blood thirsty harbinger of pain and destruction.

In the kitchen of the house where we currently reside, lives a brand new cheese grater. It is marvelous for grating cheese quickly because it is sharp.

Very. Sharp.

So sharp, in fact that one should not blink while using it. That was my mistake today. The cheese I had in my hand turned in my fingers as I pushed down on it and the grater and I managed to grate the end of my thumb... off.

Gone. My thumb curves around up nicely from my palm to the nuckle to the base of the nail and up to the tip like normal and then... flat. Gone.

In an instant my thumb was bleeding like nothing I've ever experienced before. And it didn't stop bleeding for quite some time. Two soaked pressure bandages and some hours later it managed to stop and now it's wrapped up nicely so I can try to get some sleep.

Logan has been a tremendous help and even Kevin has too. He has been a great helper for me and coached me through Logan taking the first bandage off, "Grit your teeth, mom.... keep breathin' mom... ohhhh that's a good one mom... look at all that blood dad... don't look mom, you don't want to see it..."

The moral of this story... Beware of the Cheese Grater!

Things I have learned in the last three days...

That walking away from the computer and email for two days is not greater than or equal to the world falling down around one's ears.

One's self image can be corrected with a full length mirror and a good light.

That yelling at one's kids is neither helpful or healthy.

Luna was right, "No matter where it is, home is a wonderful place."

The whole of one's meaningful worldly possessions really can fit in one bag...

...and that a good bag will have at least one good Post-It pocket.

One cannot catch up on sleep.

And...

Grape vines are a wonderful metaphor for the way Jesus grows, or wants to grow in one's life. The vines are deeply rooted and reach all the way through the branches, curling and intertwining itself to make it stronger.

Moving, A Kind of Testimony

Four years ago, when we moved to Portland, we promised ourselves that we would never make a decision about where we lived based on the church in the area. Having gone through some difficulties and learning some hard lessons we thought that was a good decision... a wise choice. - We didn't realize we were challenging God.

We have learned what it means to be Christians at PUMP... how to trust God, how to love people unconditionally, how to worship without shame, how to invite people to Jesus' banquet table, how to see that God is alive and active in this world...

So less than a year ago when Cascade announced it's closing there was one thing we talked about that night... we love PUMP church and want to stay in Portland. And for the last several months the concentration of our job search has been in PDX. But the economy is what it is, and to date, there have been only "Thanks but no thanks" letters and a quiet phone.

Where do we go from here? Further into God's plan for us. And right now we know that He is providing for us the way He always has. We are blessed to have two sets of parents who have opened their homes to us. And we find ourselves humbly accepting... a little puzzled at the fact that it is so far away from PUMP... but trusting that God knows what we need, both physically and spiritually.

So on Monday morning we will roll out of Portland for a time, we pray, and head to live with my parents in Marysville, WA. Anyone who knows my parents and has been to their house knows that they are empty nesters... sort of. - When they moved into that house they had a dedication party. The house was prayed over and promised to be a place where God would be glorified and family and friends would be welcome. And that is what it has been. So it's our turn to occupy the Casparek basement, to enjoy the blessings God has given to them, and to see what God has in store for us next. We pray every day... sometimes every hour, sometimes every minute... that God will open doors for us in Portland... because we love PUMP and the impact we are making on Northeast Portland, and on each other. (God showed us, didn't He?)

One thing we have learned is that God goes before us, is with us, and looks forward to us realizing He was there all the time. That he really was, is and always will be... So while we aren't waiting for work to fall from the sky, we are trusting in Him, that He guides our hearts and so He guides our decisions.

We have learned a lot and look forward to this new adventure for our family.

Oh Joy!

Yesterday was a good day.

New purse.

New wallet.

New planner.

New Post-Its.