Sitting Outside on a Warm Spring Evening

It's hard to describe the feeling of freedom I've been experiencing over the last couple of weeks. And if you've never been a Residence Director or maybe an apartment manager or worked in a job that required your residence to be your place of employment, you may not understand the kind of freedom I am talking about. 

See, for the last four years as we've worked as RDs we've experienced a sort of... bondage... though that's not the best word for it, I can't think of a better one right now. While students were on campus there was always an expectation that we would be available no matter what time of the day or night. And to some degree that was true. So it caused me to feel like if I didn't want to talk to anyone (who doesn't have those days?) or if we were ill or just needing a reprieve we would have to shut ourselves up in our house. And even with the blinds closed, the door shut and the lights off, there were still bound to be students who came to our door for one thing or another. Seriously, sometimes even going from our front door to the car was tricky. Sometimes it seemed as if they were watching from their dorms to see when we would go outside (or wait in the lobby in York Landreth as the case was for three years) and then make a bee line for us.

Now granted, when we had a student come to our door with his head split open because he pushed the bunk bed above him off of the pegs, that was a legitimate need. But, really, it's not my problem that you've forgotten your key at 3 o'clock in the morning. 

Okay, back to the freedom part. 

This evening I am feeling sort of tired, and it's been around 87 degrees today in Portland. Not a dry heat like we enjoyed last weekend in Ellensburg. I don't feel like doing much. So I made a cup of herb tea (mom will be happy about that) and am currently sitting outside in my garden chair next to my fuchsias and petunias, blogging about the experience and enjoying the cool breeze the... hum of the freeway... and... the sirens... Hm, now that I pay attention to the sounds, it's not so peaceful, but that's not the point. The point is that I can sit outside with a cup of tea and my dog at my feet and enjoy the freedom of being outside without feeling obligated in any way to socialize or take care of any sort of issue. 

It's nice.

Cutest Blog On The Block

I tried to add a back ground from this website, but I think you may have to pay for the back ground to be able to keep it. Maybe it's designed to expire, causing you to go back to the site... or maybe just get frustrated and take the darn thing back off of your blog and go back to a pre-designed template from blogger. 

Either way, I'm settled on this background for now. I'd like to find a cool, cute, modern background for my blog, but doing that is at the bottom of my to do list and I'm not willing to pay for it at this time. 

So, here you go... for the three readers that keep up with my blog. :)

Technical Difficulties

Please excuse the naked nature of my blog. I had a cool background added but it disappeared. I'm not sure what I did wrong or whether it was just a temporary one...

How are ya?

Lately when someone asks me how "things" are going, I find myself somewhere between the cordial, "We're great. Everything is fine," and "Do you have a couple of hours?" I mean, really, we are looking for work which is compounded by finding (and paying for) a new place to live, my best friend is moving to Texas (with blessings), our church is navigating a significant spiritual awakening (which we don't want to move away from) and Logan and I are trying to get healthy (just thought I would interject one more parenthesis statement). - Don't get me wrong, there is peace among all of these things. God is showing his provision for us daily and I don't doubt that something will work out for us in the long run. He has always been faithful to us despite our human-ness. But my point is that I don't really know what to say to someone who says, "How are you?"

That's all.

Dwelling in the Word

This is what I've been dwelling on lately...

  "Immediately after this, Jesus made his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake while he sent the people home. Afterward he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone. 

  Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 

  About three o'clock in the morning Jesus came to them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him, they screamed in terror, thinking he was a ghost. But Jesus spoke to them at once. "It's all right," he said. "I am here! Don't be afraid."

  Then Peter called to him, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you by walking on water." 

  "All right, come," Jesus said.

  So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he looked around at the high waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted.

  Instantly Jesus reached out his hand and grabbed him. "You don't have much faith," Jesus said, "Why did you doubt me?" And when they climbed back into the boat the wind stopped. 

   Then the disciples worshiped him. "You really are the Son of God!" they exclaimed.

A few thoughts and questions that have been going through my mind about this...

-Do you think Jesus walked on water to prove his sovereignty over it or out of convenience? He'd had a hard few days: he was rejected in his home town, his cousin was beheaded, he'd just finished feeding thousands of people and then went and prayed all night... Do you think maybe he was tired?

-Jesus' response to Peter was "instant" but Peter never answered Jesus' question.

-I have had some "get out of the boat and trust me" events in the past year. I desire so deeply to be able to keep my eyes on Jesus and not notice the waves.

Some months in review...

October, 2008

We played in a huge pile of leaves right outside our apartment.

Nolan turned 4 on November 9th. Kevin turned 6 on November 16th. For both we had a small party at home with some of the boys' student-friends. It was fun to see everyone watch "Kung Fu Panda" and "Star Wars" and visit with the boys.

We had Thanksgiving at my Mom and Dad's house, and set up some Christmas decor to take some pictures for cards. It was so nice to spend time with the family. There was a LOT of laughter and good time together.

Kevin...

... and Nolan fell in love with Light Brite at Gramma and Papa's house.

We added a little one to our family.

This is Chukha (chooka).

And played in the snow a LOT.

We got to spend Christmas with Grammi, which was a lot of fun too.

And, this is my favorite picture right now.

Not pictured here are the events of the last few weeks: helping friends move into their new house, shopping (yes, I said shopping), time with good friends and the transformation that PUMP is under, along with other events on campus and in the Portland area. I hope to blog more soon, but life is busy.

There are several drafts in my dashboard about various things that I want to formulate and post, but life is busy and my connection is slow so the motivation to sit and wait for pictures to upload or spending the time at the computer to get it all written down is just not there. 

Since I posted last there are several events that have taken place that have struck my heart or my mind in a way that causes me to feel differently about people and places. Even my self image and esteem have changed in ways that is difficult to express. Work is different, church is different, changing and exciting, home is steady and peaceful and health is tumultuous at best. 

Through all of it there is a truth that never ceases to prove itself over and over again: Jesus Christ is the Messiah, my Savior, the one perfect man that I can count on... the one the men in my life try to be like, the one my sons learn about, the one I lean so heavily upon. God has always and will always provide for our family... in a way that carries no monetary value... which I think is the kind of provision He wants us to be focused on.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.