82 Things

I started compiling a list of a hundred things. I started a couple weeks ago and have put a few things on every now and then as I think of them, but I didn't get all 100 and I'm tired of thinking about myself. So I'm posting 82 things about me.

18. Potato soup is a comfort food for me.

19. I can hear the high frequency noises that come from electronic contraptions but I have a hard time hearing and understanding the voices of men.

20. Water Aerobics is my favorite form of exercise.

21. The latest I've ever slept in is 9:30 in the morning.

22. I have never seen the movies or read the books for the Harry Potter series. There is no particular reason for this.

23. Spring is my favorite season. I also love Fall because its my sister's favorite season.

24. I wonder things like... what made the "Danskin" people choose orange for their 2lb weight color and green for their 1lb weight color.

25. "Soccer Mom" will be added to the list of names that I go by this spring. This is one of the highlights of motherhood for me.

26. Office supplies make a great gift for me. What girl doesn't like a new notebook or Post-It?

27. If I ever work outside the home (and don't run a preschool) I want it to be an administrative assistant.

28. Caring for children is one of my favorite things to do.

29. Memorization does not come easy to me.

30. Sunflowers and stefanotis are my favorite flowers.

31. Diet Pepsi is my favorite beverage.

32. My favorite verses in the Bible are Hebrews 4:14-16.

33. The Wizard of Oz is my least favorite movie.

34. Feet are my least favorite part of the body. I do not even like my own.

35. I like to pretend that being trendy doesn't matter to me. But, I do not like to spend money or shop. So I am not trendy and it only bothers me on the occasion that I am in the company of someone particularly trendy.

36. I recently purchased the bag of my dreams. It is not made of shiny feaux leather, have leopard print or magnetic snaps.

37. I did not shop for the bag. A friend has one and I asked her where to find it. I made the purchase in less than 20 minutes.

38. I love it when my kids blow bubbles in their milk.

39. The toilet paper in my bathroom rolls over the top. It matters to me.

40. Logan and I got married on 9-9-2000 so it is easily remembered... by me.

41. I dip my pancakes in syrup with each bite. I keep my spaghetti separate from my sauce. And I like white rice plain.

42. I love to snuggle my kids and smell their heads.

43. Stand-up comedy is not funny to me.

44. I understand what covetting is by way of a lesson learned involving a Mac laptop.

45. My silky blanket goes with me when I stay overnight at someone else's house. It is a twin size blanket that I used when I slept in my grandparents' fifth-wheel. I love that blanket.

46. There is a church in Grand Junction, Colorado that I can remember very clearly. I went there before the age of six. It reminds me that the time I spend preparing for my preschool bible class matters.

47. Owning and running a preschool is a dream of mine.

48. I do not feel intelligent about politics because I don't have time to read everything there is to know about every candidate, and that seems necessary to me to be able to have an opinion about them.

49. Honesty matters to me.

50. I started this list from 100 so I would know how many I had left to think of. 50 to go.

51. Lipton tea is my java.

52. I dislike doing dishes VERY much.

53. I love the Pirates of the Carribean series.

54. I was not profoundly effected by any minister until we joined PUMP Church of Christ. (I do not say that to offend others, it is simply the truth.)

55. I loved the second trimester of both of my pregnancies.

56. I once climbed and sat in a cherry tree and ate cherries until my tummy was tight. I did not get sick and still do not get sick while eating cherries.

57. Spelling "neighborhood" correctly earned me bonus points in fourth grade. I remember my teacher's name: Mr. Russo

58. Most of my spelling ability is atributed to word-finds in fifth grade. We got a piece of licorice for every word find completed correctly. And I still think words in their s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g. (Mr. Burke was his name. He read a chapter out of a book each day after recess and he pushed his glasses up on his nose using only his face muscles.)

59. I color code things in my planner.

60. Tripping over things in my home is the one thing that frustrates me the most.

61. I do not like rose scented things.

62. In highschool my sister and I lived in very different worlds. But if anyone picked on one of us the other knew and defended the other. I hope for that for our boys.

63. I don't talk to anyone from highschool and will never go to a reunion.

64. I wonder how many people will really read all of these things about me. It makes me feel awkward to think so much about myself.

65. Stefanotis is a beautiful flower whose fragrance fills the room with my mother's presence; her gentleness and kindness and it makes me ache to be next to her.

66. Halloween is my least favorite holiday.

67. Sometimes I can still remember how my strawberry shampoo smelled when I was little.

68. Michael Jackson, Huey Lewis and the News, Carol King and Accapella (Travelin' Shoes) musically shaped me.

69. Motion sickness sometimes gets the best of me even when I'm driving.

70. I cheated on my final in Acts Class with Stan Granberg. Three years later I contacted him to tell him about the cheating and slept the best in years that night. He changed my grade to a D which could have been an F. I am still grateful to him for the grace.

71. I love cream and brown tones in a room.

72. The only toys I have from my childhood (that I can find) are two My Little Ponies.

73. My great- great granddad was a horse-back circuit preacher.

74. My highschool music teacher said that the difference between gospel music and blues is, "Oh Lord" and "Oh baby".

75. He also taught me how to hit the high notes by teaching me to shoot free throws, that purple is not just a color, and that a good jazz band doesn't find the beat with the drummer.

76. I let my kids jump on my bed.

77. Anxiety sweeps over me at the grocery store if I get there and realize I've forgotten a comprehensive list.

78. My favorite name of Jesus is "Advocate".

79. Chocolate gives me migranes.

80. I still struggle with regret over my wedding photographer. He did not allow my grandpa to take pictures of me. ~ I should have fired him on the spot. ~ It still makes me angry to tears and sad that I didn't stick up for him. Sometimes I fanticize about what I should have said to the photographer, and then I get embarassed and ask God to forgive my foul mouth.

81. When Logan and I got married it was the last time I saw my grandmother. I still remember her kiss and hug.

82. Conflict does not scare me. The possability of damaging a relationship scares me.

83. My first pet was a Samoide named Bear. Well, he was my dad's dog, but he shared. Bear loved oranges and snow and playing with my dad. He used to turn into a white fluff ball when my dad brushed him. We had to put him down when I was 18. ~ I still miss him.

84. I learned to sing in church where my mother gave us a half piece of gum before church started so we wouldn't bug her for it during communion. I still sing with gum in my mouth.

85. I was once ranked tied for 3rd in the solo competition at the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival in highschool. It is my first memory of having a placement in a competition of any kind. I sang with gum in my mouth.

86. I wish to have played volleyball in highschool and college.

87. The dentist chair is my second least favorite place to be.

88. Any place where "shopping" is required is my least favorite place to be.

89. The idea of getting on a plane makes my stomach hurt and my heart beat fast.

90. I will be 30 in June but I feel like I've been 18 for a really long time.

91. I do not wear anklets.

92. Orange juice is my favorite juice.

93. My son and I love the same Pooh character.

94. I love to read. I have read more in the last 30 days than in the last ten years.

95. People say I look like my mom and act like my aunt. I think it's because I believe my mother to be the most beautiful woman alive and my aunt's manner was impressed upon my heart at a very young age. I think my mother to be strong and my aunt to be gentle. Both are traits I do not think I know yet.

96. I know that there are eight steps to the second floor, nine to the ground floor and seven to the first floor of our building... 41 steps to the dumpster... 38 to our car from the front door... 22 to the Johnson Center and seventeen steps up to the cafeteria.

97. Kaytlyn, Abigail and Fiona are daughters of my heart.

98. I do not like Diet Squirt and orange Chicklets at the same time.

99. I love to garden and have a potting bench that Logan built for me. But I do not have a yard. So I have house plants and plans for a beautiful garden when we buy a home with a yard.

100. My greatest wish is to sing for Disney.

Before Portland

I thought I would share some photos of the boys when they were much younger. I came across a slough of pictures and they invoked a lot of memories that I had forgotten. I hope to keep the captions brief. The pictures are not in date order. I'm new at the post-pictures-on-your-blog thing.

Nolan at 5 months at Sauk River Women's Retreat. He's cooing at his Nana.

This is Nolan with my Grandpa who recently passed away. It's nice to have a picture of them together.

This is Nolan at 6 weeks. He had RSV and was hospitalized for 5 days. The wires and tubes included oxygen, IV, heart monitor, pulse/oxygen level, and respiration monitor. Many people came to lend their support but no one was allowed in the room unless they were robed and masked. Nana, Grandma and the family were so helpful. Grandma even sat in the room with me (masked) for about five hours one day. The support and love was amazing. ~ It wasn't until Nolan was almost two when I realized that the experience was his "storm" and not mine. The LORD was caring for him then... not me.

Kevin - Cheesmo!

Gramma and Nolan at about 7 months.

Kevin - "Short help is better than no help."

Kevin: Tub time was the best time.

Kevin at 1 1/2

Nolan's First Christmas. He slept through most of it.

Snow Day at Nana's house... building Snow Nana's and Snow Papa's.

Welp, that's it for now. Hopefully I can share more later... probably on their page. Maybe I'll post one of Kevin's latest head wound. He's such a boy!

Writing this on my heart...

"Above all else, guard your heart,

for it is the wellspring of life.

Put away perversity from your mouth

keep corupt talk far from your lips.

Let your eyes look straight ahead,

fix your gaze directly before you.

Make level paths for your feet

and take only ways that are firm.

Do not swerve to the right or the left;

keep your foot from evil."

Proverbs 4: 23-27

The Wall

For about the past two and a half years I have been blessed with my job, the struggles that come and go with it, the home that comes with it and the task of keeping the family "together" in the process. I've been able to, with some measure of success, been able to find my groove. Home school with the boys has been difficult to get comfortable with, though the idea has been exciting the direction has been hard to find. That's been resolved and now we begin a new curriculum that I think will benefit all who reside in our home. Work has had its challenges though it's been an incredible blessing. There is something new nearly every day that I thank my LORD for. He is so faithful to guide me through it's challenges and I praise his name for the triumphs. But this was not always so. Our time here in Portland has been a long road with unforseeable forks in our path and I have not always seen God's leading in it. So my relationship with him has been tomultuous at best. One thing that I've had to learn to do is to quiet my mind without a quiet place to be. Our bedroom consisted of three walls and a curtain on the other side of which was our living room. When someone entered our home they entered my bedroom and in some small way I felt invaded upon though my heart has been in welcoming people and their intention I believe has not been on invasion of my space. It has been something I have prayed about, saying, "Lord please, I just need some privacy." But until now I believe I had a lesson to learn. And though I can't quite put it into the right words I think it has something to do with finding God no matter where I am and like I said; quieting my mind without a quiet place to be.

Along this part of my journey I've been blessed with a book series by Francine Rivers that has opened my eyes to the touchable God that has made my heart his dwelling place. I don't remember a time when I have been so open to His leading, hungry for His words, and humble before him as my King.

And now, it seems in completion of this lesson, I have a private place. I now have a bedroom with four walls, a door, and a knob that locks. I have a quiet place where I can be still and be alone or with Logan... or with God. And I am grateful. I tell Him silently whenever I go into my room and close the door, or when I look at the new wall contemplating the pictures that could go there. I am grateful. I am so very grateful.

So forgive me if I am tearful as I proclaim the excitement in my heart at a few pieces of wood, some dry wall and paint. It serves as a physical reminder of something I longed for and found before it was built.

My Hands

I sat one day and caught a glimpse of my hands. For some reason my mind lingered on the look of them and their origin. I thought about my parents. The inside of my hands look like my mothers... soft yet determined... I remembered the way she ran her fingers through my hair as a child and again as I delivered Kevin... so comforting. I can picture her hands as she arranges flowers or fiddles with beads. She has perfect nails and pretty, slim fingers. I remember when she scolded me in jest or in earnest and held me at my first broken heart. Looking at the inside of my hands I hear her words echo the day she spoke to me just before my wedding, "...always be sweet..." I remember days I would stroll into the flower shop she worked in when we lived in Seattle and see her working so hard. Then she'd come home and cook dinner and do whatever else she did at the time... I'm sorry I didn't notice those things enough to be as grateful as I am now.

The outside of my hands look much like my Dad's. The way the skin wrinkles in the same places, the formation of my nails. I remember studying his hands as he worked on cars we had or installed shelving or washed the dishes. I remember him holding me as a child, rocking as he read the paper. I can picture his wedding ring... I remember splitting wood with him, packing the car for road trips. I can picture his hand on the wheel, his thumb tapping to the music. I love watching him lead singing, seeing his hands hold the song book... or walking into his office and seeing him finger through his bible. I remember when we were crossing a busy street. We thought we had enough time but when he saw that I wasn't beside hime, he swiftly grabbed me and saved my life. His hands caught me when I slipped on rocks at Deception Pass. They catch me now when my heart slips and I need his hands to hold me.

I have felt overwhelmingly grateful for my parents in the recent months. That's not to say that I've just now begun to feel grateful, I believe I told my mom she was right about everything several years ago... but lately I've been thinking a lot and they keep coming up in my mind. Now they are coming up on 32 years of marriage. That's pretty impressive to me.

So as I looked at my hands the other day I prayed that the Lord would forgive me of the unkind things I think and do to guide me on the right path and help me to be soft yet determined, strong and faithful.

A Voice in the Wind

My heart is swimming with true emotion having finished "A Voice in the Wind" by Francene Rivers. This is not a book review, this is a plea... read this book. But I caution you... it may cause you to open your heart to the voice of God... and that could change your life.