Our preacher was out at a big youth rally in our area. Another of our ministers was out on vacation. Other PUMP members were out on their vacations, or sick, or whatever.
I think I counted 6 adults that are regularly involved in the workings of our Sunday program. That's 6 out of about 20 who are there on a pretty regular basis; teaching, administrating, ministering, serving and preparing so that the kids in our neighborhood and members learn a little more about Jesus each week. So Logan lead worship. I put communion together. Ike left a pre-recorded DVD of his sermon (which I hope makes it to his blog). And that was PUMP this morning. But it was by no means a minimal experience.
I realized this as I sat in worship singing that I had to focus on keeping a great feeling of anxiety at bay. Introducing myself to others is certainly not one of my strong suits... and this concerns me. I realized that I rely on the "A team" of our PUMP members to do what feels to me like the hard stuff of ministry... meeting people, inviting them into the PUMP family... inviting them to meet Jesus... and it broke my heart. I realized that after 2 years at PUMP I am still drinking a sort of spiritual milk.
...still...
I know I have a choice to make... Yoda coined the phrase but Jesus said it first, "Do or do not, there is no try."
So, this is where the rubber meets the road.
4 comments:
Thank you for this post. It is a great perspective to see.
I do NOT feel like the way I felt on Sunday is a reflection of the leadership in any way. I have been adequately led but haven't stepped up to the calling I've been given. That's my point of the whole thing and I hope it does not read any other way.
I miss my snuggling little Nolan and the great comedian, Kev. Give them hugs for me.
Good thoughts. This is a good message to leaders as well as all the people in the church. The point isn't for crowds to be led, but for disciples to be made. Disciples are different from followers. Disciples engage in the work of the kingdom.
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