WHAT?!

There is currently a car sale for a company that I don't even know because I'm stuck on the idiocy of the name of the event.

The Big Duh Sales Event

Someone ran out of good ideas.

Raw Emotions

Why do we talk about people after they die? Why don't we talk about them when they are still around, so they know how much they are cherished? Or... why don't we talk about them when they are still around so that they know they need to change... to give their lives to Christ and abide in His forgiveness?

On the one hand my husband is in Ellensburg to go to a memorial service for a man who was beaten to death. He was involved in awful things that lead to the beating but no one deserves to be murdered, no matter what they are involved in. But what if we had had a "memorial service" for him 3, 5 or 8 years ago... when he was there to witness it? Would he have changed? If you think to yourself that he was probably too far gone, why do you think that? What if he saw his mother crying? How about his son? Or his daughter? Would it change you? - And what's the big idea about doing it after a person has passed? They can't change themselves at that point. I just don't think that's very nice.

On the other hand my grandma is not well. She is in a nursing home near the U.S./Canadian border... "one of the best in the country". They take good care of her, and yet her body is failing. She's lived a long life, full of joy and hardship and victory. She is a faithful woman of God who shaped her family, her children and her grandchildren to be believers and followers of Jesus. And when she passes away we will be sad that she's gone but we'll all rest in the hope of the resurrection; that she will be in the arms of Jesus and that she is at peace. And then we'll talk about how much we all love her and tons of us will tell stories of when we were younger and the experiences we had with her. We'll cry. We'll laugh. We'll all be together ... but not until after she dies.

I have never been satisfied with this notion. It really doesn't make any sense to me at all. So I have been intentional about telling loved ones how I feel about them... maybe to the point where they think, "All right, I get it already, you love me. Thank you. Point taken." But I did tell Gramma that I loved her... a lot. And several times I've told her that I am so proud to be one of hers (and Grandpas), that I am grateful for their faithfulness to each other, for being foundational members of our family, for being truthful with me, and for being so dedicated to our family. I just hope I'm not the only one. - Does she know that she is so cherished? Does she know that she shaped my mother who shaped me? Does she know that her marriage was an example? Does she feel appreciated?

I don't know what to do with how I feel right now. This is consuming my mind and while it is not a trivial thing to think on, I have pressing issues that need attention in the very near future. I could really use some wise council.

Busy times

The busy season is upon us. So I am writing this post to let all of my (5) faithful readers know that it might be a while before I sit down to blog again. I'm pretty sure we'll have 4 or 5 "OFF" days between now and August 27th... and I think those will be Sundays... mostly.

Please, please, no tears.

I shall return.

It's Here!!!

My new computer arrived yesterday. It's been quite an ordeal to learn. I feel a bit overwhelmed. But I am excited and VERY fortunate to know a couple Mac users who have shown me around.

I am impressed with the way you can open and close programs, the efficiency of internet use and capabilities, the ability to keep track of the blogs I read without surfing for hours, the professional quality documents it creates, the seamless calander program, and the fact that I can go wireless whereever I am. But the thing that sold me on it... the thing that made up my mind about spending ungodly amounts of money and learning a new operating system... digital stickie notes. Did you catch that? DIGITAL STICKIE NOTES!!!! (I know!!)

Thank you Allan for setting me up with some very "elegant" programs and short cuts. Thank you Jessi for the Office:mac download. And thank you Logan for being a gentleman and letting the lady get her mac first.

I would insert a picture of a macbook but I don't know how to do that yet.... but I have a GREAT program for it!!!

So now I'm off to bed. This has been a busy day.

Good night Safari. Good night Finder. Good night Pages. Good night John boy.

On SANGIN'!

I'm not exactly sure what I was thinking when I was excited about today because everything I thought I was getting into today was NOTHING like I expected. It was better.

I remember a time when my brother and sister and I were much younger. We lived in West Seattle and went to Alki beach (when it was safe to do so) and we played in the water. My sister and I would go out far enough and stand facing the shore so that the waves would wash over us as they came in. We never lost our footing but we could feel the rush of water come up around our shoulders and sometimes around our heads. - That rush of coolness surrounding me... that's what it was like at PUMP today. There was such a "joyful noise" that it just swirled around me...

I have never been made breathless by music before today.

THEN there was the camp we sang at. That just ROCKED. From the parking lot at Cascade to setting up to mic checks to SANGIN' to dinner at Red Robin and all the laughs in between... Thank you AFA, Cherrone, Jason and Ike. What a ride. - THIS is what we moved to Portland for.

Now, off to bed. I have to meet Mac tomorrow.

On Singing

Singing has always been a part of my life. It just has. Sunday morning, Wednesday night (when I went to a church with a schedule like that), choir in school, choir in college, various singing groups that practiced in the bathroom in Sanders Hall (you know who you are!), at PUMP which is different than any other "church" experience I've had. - And now I get to sing with a group of people called enterPraise as well. Someone calls or emails the group leader, he sends out an email to all singers, they respond and based on the response, Jason takes that group and they go sing at said event. It is an incredible experience for a singer to stand up next to people they haven't talked to or seen much of and put out an incredible praise time.

Why am I writing about this? Because it's such a GOD thing... Oh sure we all have songs in common that we think and sing on from time to time. We all are pretty well rehearsed as quarterly rehearsals go. And we all are people who have been known to sing a few songs well on occassion. But the amazing part is the sound that streams out of the speakers when we start singing "I will call upon the LORD" or "Behold HE comes..." God is just amazing in the way that He brings it all together... because HE does. And every member of the group would probably agree with me. - It's pretty much amazing. And there are a few that are musical geniuses who (as my good friend Steve would say) throw down every time they sing and somehow put our music in a song along side a secular song and it works... well.

Today is one such day of the putting a group together and singing off the cuff. We are going to a camp to kick it off right and I AM STOKED!!! Not only do I get to sing today (twice) but I get to sing with my very good friend Amy and a few other people who have also been known to sing a tune from time to time.

It's gonna be SWEET!!

To Mac or not to Mac?

I finally did it, and though buyer's remorse is slowly creeping in I am truly happy with my purchase. I ordered a Macbook today. It will be smaller, lighter, more efficient and able to last longer than 36 months without major defects or the blue screen of death.

The down side: I get to learn a new system in the middle of one of the busiest times of the year for our profession.

The up side: My sister, who works for Microsoft, will not disown me. And I know now that it's not "Macintosh" it's "Apple"... and all of the customer service reps speak perfect North American English.

Oh, and I ordered a new printer that does everything except toast bread.

Fasting

Fasting is a spiritual discipline that I have never found the strength to begin. It doesn't seem to me to be optional as far as Jesus is concerned ("When you fast..."). But I have had it in my mind that when you fast you don't eat. That has never been a good idea for me, being hypo-glycemic and prone to headaches. But in discussion with my husband about it he made the comment," You don't have to fast from food... you can fast from whatever gets in the way of a better relationship with God or what hinders you from keeping the 'flesh' in check."

My first thought was, "How could I be so naive?" But my naivety is in direct proportion to my spiritual maturity. That, I think, is why God puts people in our lives to guide us through it (older teaching younger etc. etc.) and encourage us on to a more mature relationship with Christ. For that I am grateful.

I am not sure what my first fast will be from or when I'll do it. And I won't write about it. That's not the point. I just wanted to write about something that is relevant to me at this moment.

Do you fast? Maybe that's too personal of a question. God seems to want us to keep that to ourselves. But in the realm of guidance on the subject... do you have any?

Bragging about the boys

I've decided to write about the boys on a separate blog. Check out "See Also" to the left and read about them there if you'd like.

THEY ARE SO AMAZING!!

Fire Works

As we drove home from Life Group last night, while talking about watching fireworks on TV Kevin saw some fireworks burst in the air and squeeled with great joy. Then he got quiet which meant that he fell asleep or was thinking about something. A few minutes later he said, "Dad... why is it called 'works'?"

What a thinker.

Stumped and giving me the "okay, know-it-all, chime in here" look he replied with the standard Dad-doesn't-really-know response, "I guess we'll have to find out."

So my question to you, Why is it called fire "works"?

To Slide Or Not To Slide

A great milestone has been reached. After months of contemplation and asking permission (always granted) Kevin finally did it. There is a really tall play structure at the school yard near our house which has a very straight and very slick slide attached to it. You know what I'm talking about; the metal, burn-your-legs-if-you-have-shorts-on kind of slide. Like I said, he's been contemplating the slide for months... every time asking for permission which I give him. Some times he would stand on the platform a couple feet back and look at it. Some times he would go up to the edge and look down the slide... and even once before today he sat down at the top and then scooted back and went the other way. But today he must have been feeling like a bit more of a super hero, or maybe it was because he'd warmed up to it just enough but he went down. The first time it looked like he was going to pee his pants. He zoomed off the end, ran a little bit to slow down the momentum and then just looked at me while he tried to catch his breath... And then it happened; the smile of accomplishment.

After that he went down a few more times, each time with the question, "Did you see me Mom? Did you see me?"

That's my boy!

Vacation Bible School

When I was much younger I was part of a VBS kind of by default. My brother was injured when he fell down some stairs and so we went to stay with some friends who happened to be in the middle of their VBS while my mom and dad took care of him. I don't remember much except going from station to station and that the lessons had to do with the fruits of the spirit. I don't remember having a good time. I remember being worried about my brother. But the friends (the parents) were very kind to my sister and I and our friends whose names I don't remember were nice to us. I am sure my memories would be happier if I wasn't worried about my brother at that time so I don't fault the VBS people. They worked hard and welcomed my sister and I very lovingly. - Fast forward to the week we've all just finished. Most of the people who read this blog experienced PUMP VBS with me and so you will understand it when I say that it was exhaustingly fulfilling. But there's something about working together to teach consentrated lessons to children for five days that causes one to wonder... why are we doing this? I really have struggled on this question. Will the kids remember thier time with us? Will they remember having a good time? What is going on in their lives at home that might cause them to think of this time in a negative way? And equally in a postive way? Are we serving any significant purpose in their lives or are we "doing VBS" for the sake of doing it?

Now let me back up for just a second. There was a group of incredible people who came from Houston Texas to do this for us and with us. They worked very hard to provide this time for us and I don't want to discount their efforts in any way. They are all cherished friends of PUMP. All I am saying is that my experiences, being my only real reference point, are what caused me to ponder our VBS week last week. Is it really worth pre gluing little Jonahs together and staying up until midnight or later to prepare for 20 hours of bible stories and activities? If it is, is it worth it or necessary to do this kind of thing ALL of the time or at the very least for our Sunday bible classes? We are talking about major prep with props, costumes, painted back drops, intricate art projects, and snacks to go along, not to mention the puppet shows, the songs, the T-shirts and transportation for kids who need it.

I certainly don't have the answers to all of these questions. But my point is this; I hope that in all of our efforts the kids like Demarje and Aunika walk away knowing that there are people who love them and more that GOD loves them. And I hope that if it means that we can reach our kids better that we would be committed to props, costumes, practices, intricate art projects and songs for the long haul. And even more than that, I hope that we are committed to think ahead to the day when those kids are not interested in plays, snacks and gluing things together anymore... that we are prepared to teach them about the love of Jesus and his call to them to be disciples.